Alice's Problem
by The Last Letter
Summary: Alice has a problem and Jasper's trying to figure out what the heck it is.


**Jasper's POV**

It was sunny.

We were all going crazy.

And by 'crazy' I mean Esme is frying well, I _think_ they used to be _roses_ but she could have moved onto sunflowers by now. Carlisle is trying to dissect something, and I'm really not sure _where_ he got the Kinder Egg, all I know is he's locked up in his study with it and his medical tools. Rosalie has taken it upon herself to rip all the heels off her high heel shoes and toss them in a pile, to see if she can match the right heel to the right shoe. Emmett is dancing around naked in one of Carlisle's lab coats (I'm _never_ going to be able to get _that_ image out of my mind) trying to get Rosalie to give up her matching game and umm, go to bed, so to speak. Edward is probably in his room either staring at a picture of Bella, or counting the seconds until the school day ends _while_ staring at a picture of Bella. My guess is the latter.

I wanted to talk to Alice, but she's feeling conflicted. I haven't gone anywhere near her, in case this is one of those problems I don't want to be involved in, or if it's one of those she _wants _me to be involved in, and it's something like picking the right pair of shoes out online. Last time I got dragged into that, well, she just advised me not to help again. I shall be eternally grateful for her for freeing me from that burden, but just in case she changes her mind, I'd rather stay away.

I tapped my foot against the floor, but I was extremely bored. I had nothing to do. At all. I glanced upward, where Alice was sitting down thinking deeply of something. All of my male instincts warned me she might be shopping, and that it would be a bad idea to go up there, but she was my wife, and sometimes on sunny days we participate in activities usually Em and Rose are known for. I rose from my armchair, headed up the stairs, and entered our room.

Actually, we each technically have our seperate rooms, but since we like to spend our nights together (hey, it's not like we're going to _sleep_) and Alice turned her room into a giant closet, it was just easier to call it ours.

To my surprise, Alice was just sitting there, staring off into space, but it wasn't a vision, she was thinking hard about something, and this something was really bugging her.

"Alice?" I asked.

Her head snapped toward me, like I had just broken her out of a trance. "Jasper, just who I needed to talk too."

"Not about shopping, I hope." I was already backing away to get to the door before she caught me. I may be a brave vampire, and I have the scars to prove that I can at least hold my own, but there's was no way I was going to, gulp, shop.

"No, no. It's just, I have a problem." Alice bit on her lip as I sat down across from her on the bed.

I knew it couldn't be a problem usually associated with teen girls, so I asked, "What is it Ali?"

"Well," Alice bit down on her lip again. "It's not a problem, really, just an annoyance, and it _could _be prevented, but we aren't really known for our patience I mean . . ."Alice babbled for a couple of seconds then trailed off.

I reached across the bed and grasped her tiny shoulders, "Alice, just tell me what's wrong." I was scared to death it was something serious, like leaving me.

Alice's shoulder's heaved and then she blurted, "I hate it when we're starting to have sex and you get so impatient and you rip my clothes!"

I almost laughed. _Almost_. When the woman you love looks at you with a true look of distress on her beautiful pixie face, you can't laugh, no matter the temptation.

"Alice, that's no problem. We can be more careful, promise."

"Really?" Alice's eyes shone as she looked up at me.

"Really." I confirmed and began to prove it to her.

***

Several hours later we both rose as it got dark. It was time to hunt. I pulled on my jeans and top, and I heard Alice's groping for her clothes. She shrieked and I flipped on the light.

"Ali what is it?"

"_You ripped my jeans!_" Alice wailed, and held out the proof.

**Funny? Horrible? Okay? I'd love to hear feedback. I'm not going to add anymore but I am going to make more one-shots on the other's POV of this day, so stay tuned if you liked this one. This is also my first attempt at Alice and Jasper, so I'd love to know how I did with them.**

**I do not own any of the characters, I just make them do my bidding, they all belong to Stephanie Meyer, but I own the plot.**

**~DI4MGZ~**


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